Sunday, February 23, 2014

Dear Memories...

I still remember the day when you talked to me. You, being one of THE guy, THE one that everyone knows, THE one that everyone wants to make friend. I'd heard of you, of course, I'd seen you before but I'd never talked to you. Not that I was one of those girls who look at you from far, I was just being me, burying my head into books, hanging on to the few close friends who truly understand me, never thought of venturing out or being in some 'popular' cliche. 

Then the day came. I was standing at the farthest corner after completing my role, lost in my own thoughts, thinking of all the vivid dreams I had, putting all the pieces together, plotting my own stories. I blended into the background and no one realised I was there. Then you came and said "Hi, am I interrupting anything?". 

I still remember your smiley face, the warmth in your voice and the sincerity. You were the first to call me by my name even though no one did because my name was so difficult to pronounce. You listened to what I had to say and you gave an interested look. Even when there were others around, you still gave me all your attention. 

We started becoming friends. You seemed happy to see me or bumped into me. When I was not around, you noticed my absence. When charming, popular girls were around, your attention never swayed. You were genuinely interested in my thoughts. All of a sudden, I felt that I mattered, somehow. 

I was not sure whether I was smitten. I knew that I wanted to see you. Every time you came around, I smiled. I was young and naive then. I looked up to you. I felt that I had someone who cared. I started thinking of you as a brotherly figure, although my friends told me it was more than that. I was not sure, neither am I now. 

Everything was short-lived though. We parted ways few months later. I wanted to keep in touch but you seemed to have so many people around you. You were so close with everyone, I was not sure whether I should go on dropping messages or saying hi. I did not want to initiate anything as I was afraid that I would become a nuisance to you and you never did so I left it just there with the memories kept in the bottom of my heart. 

I'd come to realise that you were just being you, the friendly one, the caring one, the funny one. You had treated me like how you would treat everyone else and there's nothing special about it. I was the one who had never received such attention and I somehow got carried away with my own longing thoughts. 

I am not hurt though and there are no regrets. Your friendship was one of the best I had and I thank you for that. I might be someone you had met once upon a time and it might be just that. I don't expect anything more than that. It might be a short one but thank you for making me feel special. Thank you for giving me a hand. Thank you for making me feel I am not just another wallpaper. I think you still remember me but I doubt I'm in that "important people" list. 

If I ever see you again, I know you'll give me a warmth smile again and say "hey, long time no see." Until then, thanks for the friendship we once had.

All the best and God bless. And congrats for achieving your dream. 

Don't know why, the first time I heard the melody, you came into my mind after many many many years...

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Footprints...




It's always after a long journey, when you turn back and look at the length of road that you'd travelled, and you realised whose footprints were always beside yours. 

Thanks for the companionship throughout this long journey. We might have fought, we might have quarrelled, we might have had disagreement but we still remain strong. Will it go on from there? Guess only time and another long journey ahead will tell. 

Thank You for always being there looking after me throughout this journey, made me fall and made me learn how to stand on my both feet again. 

Thank You also for this path. I might have been upset at the beginning of this journey as I thought I deserve much more. Now I know, this path is a blessing and it worths much more than the other one which only looks good on the outside. Thank You.

Have a blessed New Year :) 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

小鸭的自白...

有人曾经告诉我
女大十八变

若你要我现在形容我自己
我的答案会和十年前一样

至于十年后
或许也会一样吧

也许
一些事早已注定了
怎样也改变不了吧

Sunday, January 19, 2014

梦...

其实
我有一个梦

我想成为一位说故事的人
借文字
血淋淋地淘出人的心
把内心的酸楚狠狠地挤出来

也同时
借文字
安抚伤痕累累的心灵
把碎成千万片的心补回

很可惜
识字不多
文笔肤浅
造诣不深
无能力拾荒
只好借用这首歌
弥补心中的梦

林宥嘉-拾荒

将沉默暗淡的疤
渲染出鲜艳的画
好让渴望 得以靠近希望

Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Unsolved Questions...

Someone asked me: What is love? How do you know you have found THE ONE?

THE one million dollar questions. The questions that everyone has different perspective, opinions, views...

How did 2 strangers meet, become friends, fall in love, take a vow, stay together? For me, it is still one of life's biggest mysteries. Hmmm...

No, I don't have the answer for you. I don't expect much and I'm comfortable just the way I am now.

The Last Part by The Ming Thing


This has got my tears to fall and of course, it pulled me into spirals of thoughts. It's beautiful. It's something that people hope and wish for. But what's the odd of happy ending, anyway? 

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Is it The Right Time to Grow Up?

Back to Paeds ward in Banting. 

Saw a little Indian girl who had been diagnosed with asthma. 

Sitting next to her was her 13-year-old brother. 

He might be young but I could see a brotherly + fatherly figure in him.

He was in a t-shirt and jeans but he had a serious look. He talked with a maturity which was beyond his age. He spoke fluently in English with confidence and certainty. I could have sworn that he's 18 instead. 

Then I found out the truth. Their father passed away 3 years back. His mother was busy juggling with job and being the eldest, the care of his sister ultimately went to him.

I felt proud of him of his ability to cope. Yet, I felt sad for him. At such a tender young age, he had to carry the weight of the burden and the responsibility. 

All the best, young boy. Pray for you and your sister. Hope that you'll do well. 

For once, the routine of presentation was broken. For once, with awe yet sorrow I said this "The history was obtained from the girl's 13-year-old elder brother who is one of the main caregiver..."

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

What I'd Learned...

路遥知马力
日久见人心