Bereavement...

Today, out of 3 patients, 2 cried.

And these got me thinking. Sometimes, there're things that I thought will only happen in tv but not in real life but as I go through my life, these things do happen.

I met a nice lady this morning. She was kind enough to bring her neighbour, who is an old lady, to do a check up in Klinik Kesihatan. In the mean time, she came here for her hypertension follow up.

Hypertension. These patients come in and out of clinic everyday. Prof S. asked:" What runs in your mind when someone comes in for hypertension follow up?" The answer is easy (Well, as least for Prof S. :P). Just check his/her reading, make sure it's under control, compliance is good and there're no complications.

But not for her.

When asked what triggers her blood pressure to go up usually, she said when she's angry with her children. She has 3 children, age between 8-11, who are not obedient, lie and do not want to study. She gets angry when the teachers complain. She did everything and she can't seem to control them.

When asked how's her sleep, she said she has not been sleeping well. Her husband passed away suddenly more than 1 year ago and she'll think of him at night when she's supposed to sleep. Prof S wanted to know why she still thinks of him and how does she feel whenever she thinks of him but it was hard since she is a Malay and the patient is a Chinese so I helped to translate.

She said she's not gotten over him. There're lots of things that she wants to know but now she can't get the answer because her husband is not here anymore. Because it's a sudden death, her husband left without leaving any last words and there're lots of things that she doesn't understand. These had been bothering her and it didn't get better with time.

I was standing directly facing her and I saw tears welling up in her eyes. But she controlled herself. At that moment, I felt for her. She's still young and her husband passed away suddenly. She must have loved him and still is.

Love is something very funny yet strong. Just because I'd been saying that I don't want to get in a relationship, doesn't mean that I don't believe in love. I just don't believe that it'll happen to me.

Because of love, she got married and have 3 kids and because of love, her bereavement period prolonged. She lost her husband suddenly without any prior notice and it broke her. And now, she stayed at home with her 3 children who are in their rebellious stage. These are taking a toll on her even though she is trying to be tough.

I wanted to talk to her more, to explain to her why these questions were asked and to make sure that she understood everything but I was not the one who clerked her. I couldn't possibly snatch the patient right under my group mate's nose and the teaching is going on. For that, I feel a little bad.

To this dear lady, no matter where you are now, I hope you'll find peace and be alright. I do hope you'll find your own happiness once more. I'm sorry for everything that had happened and I hope you'll make it through this trial. Once the rain has stopped, the rainbow will be out once again. Pray that you'll be able to go through everything.