想家...

好想家
又看见mummy post 的 "the house is so quiet"
搞得我更想哭

或许是在elective其间常回家吧
又或许是不许要求，烦恼
却有丰富的三餐
又或许是那温暖的感觉吧

若我真的到东马工作
我能忍受吗？
还有一年多的时间
我该好好考虑了

想到两个月后
自己就是final year的学生了
开始心惊胆跳起来

都到了最后一关
唯有紧咬牙根
厚着脸皮地冲过它吧

行医这一道路
究竟适合我吗？
未来的我会后悔吗？

我只希望不伤害别人，
对得起自己
也对得起上帝
未来的我或许也会心满意足吧

同在一艘舟的朋友们
加油吧
有你们几位朋友
会是我这五年内最开心的事

张悬－关于我爱你

The time of the year...

It's that time of the year again. I flipped on the television and unexpectedly, Christmas movies were showing. And their themes are almost always the same-romance, romance and romance (plus a lot of kisses and bed scenes).

Saw a friend posted: 平安夜，失身夜.

Perhaps people have always thought of this as a magical moment, a time when happily-ever-after will come true. For some, to get this happily-ever-after, it means sacrificing themselves or indulging in physical pleasure.

Are these really the meaning of 25th December?

Growing up, I was never really exposed to religion. Of course, there's the Chinese rituals but I'd never believed in them. Then, I met God. 

Has it become easy after that? I was happy and blessed to found Him but at the same time, I was in dilemma.

Some said: Christmas is the time of the year when we remember Jesus Christ, the son of God who died willingly on the cross for our sin. 

Some said: It's wrong to celebrate Christmas. It originated from pagan. If you truly believe in Him, you shouldn't be involved in this. 

Which to believe? I'm still clueless. It's pathetic to be stuck in this sort of dilemma that I really want to laugh at myself. Perhaps my mum sensed my confusion. All she said was: Pray, dear, with prayers, you'll find the answers. 

Christmas or not, I'm still holding on to my faith. People may say that we are delusional, we believe in the happy story and block out the cruel reality. It's not like that. I'd experienced it myself and I believe that though reality may be cruel but faith is a funny thing. It strikes you when you least expected it and though life is horrible, it helps to know that there is someone watching over you and you know that you'll overcome it no matter what. A good father is one who lets you fall so that you'll know the lesson behind it and grows up instead of lock you in safety zone and let you be a pampered child. 

To think that now people treat Christmas and commercialised it that way is heartbreaking. To think that this celebration inflicts a religious spat is disappointing. To think that fellow brothers and sisters carry a worried heart and mind to church to celebrate this event for fear that a bomb will be planted is daunting.

Merry Christmas, everyone :) Let this be a time of giving thanks, blessing and love :) 

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16. Thank God :)

PS: Not all Christmas movies are that bad lah. Please don't generalise the above statement. God bless :)

傻子...

友人说
我是个愿意享受没有爱情的寂寞女人

我说
我不愿做爱情里的傻女人

傻了一次
现在想起都觉得自己傻得很可悲
因为傻
盲目了自己的思想
还傻傻地期盼
傻傻地说服自己不是傻的

傻
或许是个过程
结局是如何
只有时间才能告诉我们吧

I'm placing everything in God's hands. Whatever it is, I know God has His plans. And I truly believe, His plan is the best :) Thanks for everything, dear Lord :)

林宥嘉－傻子

“有时清醒才是错误的开始” 

女孩的故事...

有一位女孩
才二十几出
遇上了一位异国的男孩

从朋友
到恋人
最终有了孩子

为了孩子
男孩与女孩
决定背负这责任
女孩也嫁入了异国

从前听了许到异国的故事
遇上了男孩也对这不熟悉的国家有了些憧憬
但事实不过如此

男孩出生于一位小镇
父母的想法与行为并不开明

女孩出生富裕的家庭
三餐燕窝补品
思想与行动如城市女孩

嫁入异国后
男孩到另一个国家工作
女孩与小孩在婆家

女孩不了解公公婆婆的所作所为
到后来更是怨恨
为何他们常常给他脸色看？
为何他们常常在家里说是非？
为何他们的一句一话完全没根据？
为何他们对待其他的媳妇也如此指指点点？

在这段时间
女孩认识了男孩的表妹
彼此的年龄差不多
两人开始建立友情

表妹在时
常找她聊天逛逛
婆婆常煮非常清淡的菜肴
女孩吃不惯
还好有表妹载她出外吃
爱吃蛋糕的女孩
也要求表妹的妈妈准备一个给她

但这样的日子要过多久呢？
表妹在外地读书
也不常回家
她没有别的办法
只要一天在异国
自已还得呆在没有男孩的家

一天
表妹的家庭与自己的婆婆闹了起来
婆婆就怀疑女孩
说是女孩在当中作祟
女孩的日子更难受

日子慢慢地徘徊
就算看着钟手
时间也不留情的如蜗牛般地爬

最终
受不了了
把自己的东西收好
要求表妹收些自己的东西
独自一个人与小小的孩子
到异国去找男孩

女孩现在怎样了？
没人知道
也许自己也成了婆家的是非话题
她也不管了

我与这女孩不熟
但这几天她的影子一直在脑海中浮现
不管怎样抹也抹不去

我也只能祝福这女孩
希望你最终能找到自己向往的幸福吧