Wednesday, November 30, 2011

鱼的故事

我曾遇过这一只鱼。虽长得不怎么出色,但我还是看上了它,时时留意它的每一个行踪。

从小,它游也不游得比同类快,身上的颜色也不比同类鲜艳,一不留神,有时还会不小心没发现它的存在,把它给忘了。它要求不多,只想要同类看它一眼,但身上的颜色是上帝所给的,哪能做任何改变呢?捕食也比同类弱,常常被骂,有时还得挨饿。

几年后,它虽长得不怎么大,但变得成熟了些,懂事了些。它不喜欢以前的自己,从此努力地学习捕食,渐渐捕食技巧好了一些。它太习惯被同类忽略了,对自己一点信心都没,不懂得与同类相处,朋友也不多。它只懂得做好自己的本分,认真地把每件事做完。其他的,它都统统不懂。

捕食技巧被大伙肯定了,接着它到深海去,学习如何在辽阔且暗不见底的深海捕食,一边为了填饱自己的肚子,一边也为帮其它无法捕食的同类捕食。远看,大海被太阳和月光照得一闪一闪的,蓝蓝的,这只鱼不经笑了起来,相信自己可以克服这大海,帮助自己的同类。

第一天来到这大海,也遇到来自别的河的同类,但这只鱼已不懂得怎么和同类相处,很多时候孤零零地看着大家一伙一伙的学习。它不让自己想得太多,依旧认真的学习。

一年一年的过去了,它发现深海的确太深了,怎么学也学不完,学不好。渐渐的,信心也消失了。捕食技巧也不容易了,因为深海有时真得太暗了,怎么摸索也摸索不清,有时怎么拼,也没有好的收获。

今天我又遇到这只鱼,它孤零零,头低低的,面孔没有笑容。它在大伙面前捕食时,失败了。它好失望,赶紧在脸上放着一个笑容,然后很快的游到一个不曾被同类发现的洞穴,放声哭了。它对自己很失望,不知自己是否能学好这技巧。学不好,不仅浪费了自己的时间,也连累了其他在等着它帮忙捕食的同类。这只鱼也觉得很失败,自己只会装做很自立,很坚强,每天孤零零的游在大海里,不懂得与其他鱼相处,仍旧一样的被其它鱼忽略,遗忘,犹如自己根本就不曾存在。

我不懂得要怎么安慰这只鱼,只能陪着这只鱼哭,也默默地为这只鱼祈祷。

小鱼啊,究竟要等到什么时候,你才愿意要把围在自己身上的墙与篱笆塌下来呢,好好学习,也好好与别的鱼相处呢?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Acceptance :)

In life, there'll always be one who will criticise you: not pretty lah, fat lah and the list goes on and on.

Whatever you say, I'm just going to ignore you.

What do you expect me to do?

Cry? Hate myself? Go on a crash diet? Have a plastic surgery? Cry and blame God for creating me the way I am now?

Do you honestly think that I don't know all that? Or do you think I'm so ignorant that you have to say thousand of times before I register these in my head?

Angry? Nah. I'm not that ridiculous to be mad because of things like these. Throughout the years, I'd learned how to joke about myself.

But please, sometimes, look at yourself before lashing out all the criticisms. You're not that entirely good either. Unless, of course, you're just joking which I don't mind.

I'd gone through awkward phases and the learning-to-accept-myself phase. And I'd learned a few things along the way.

Learn to accept yourself. That's the way to happiness :) There's always a reason why God create you the way you are. One doesn't need to have a pretty face and model-like body to be beautiful :) You can function well and be happy just the way you are, if and only if you can accept your true self.

接受最真实的自己,除了你之外,没人会比你更爱自己。

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

感同身受

林宥嘉-感同身受



有谁流过眼泪 请说
有谁没有哭过 请说
你也怎么能爱过 如果那个是我
可能比你更失落

我想说 每个人都差不多
不一样的血肉之躯在痛苦快乐面前
我们都平起平坐
全世界的脉搏(像你像我)
让我们用心抚摸(是你是我)
别人的眼泪随时来自你和我的双眼
有那么多人在寂寞 就没有人寂寞

有谁曾经要死要活
想象连呼吸也很难过
给我会怎么做 有同样的遭遇
是否有相同结果

我想说 每个人都差不多
不一样的血肉之躯在痛苦快乐面前
我们都平起平坐
在同一本小说(像你像我)
主角无分你我(是你是我)
别人的遗憾当中看到自己犯过的错
有那么多人在寂寞 就没有人寂寞

(那些笑容)都是为了什么
(那些折磨)是怎么样解脱
(让人快乐)我们都会快乐
(让人寂寞)谁还敢说寂寞

______________________________________________________________

很明显,这不是我写的 :P

本人很喜欢林夕写的词。全都写得很美,很入心内,真佩服他。

最近都很喜欢听华语歌。朋友知道后都蛮惊讶,因为大家都知道我在一个很"英语"的环境成长。但近来越来越对英语歌失望,歌词很多都围绕在性爱之间,mv更是不能看。慢慢的开始接触华语歌,旋律不只是美,歌词也写得很棒,尤其是这首歌。

不管我们长得多不一样,性格有多不一样,脾气有多不一样,
大家都受过伤,都流过眼泪,
心里都有着几个伤疤。

有人选择振作起来,
即时伤得多重,都往好处想,
自己勇敢的爬上来,朝向未来走,
不犹豫,不害怕。
有人选择堕落过活,
即时伤得不怎么重,都往坏处想,
怨天尤人,继续趴在原地,不愿站上来,
心内充满恐惧与害怕。

也许你觉得别人比你好,比你棒,比你优,
但我们都是血肉之躯,谁没有缺点呢?
常常斗来斗去,又何苦呢?
为何不敞开心来,
尝试接纳别人,也接受最真实的自己呢?

你我都是人,都有犯错的时候,
为何不原谅别人,也原谅自己呢?
在别人和自己的错误中学习,
让自己成为更懂事,更成熟的人。
好事坏事都要懂得感恩,
不要傲慢,也不要自暴自弃,
因为这都是人生中所要面对的挑战之一。

爬起来或原封不动呢?大家心中有数 :)

P.S. : 最近都很爱听林宥嘉的歌,这首感同身受也不例外 :)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Contrast...

Child 1
  1. Suffering from Chronic Disease A.
  2. Always bullied by classmates.
  3. Do not have much friends. Only close friend is one who suffers from Chronic Disease B.
  4. Always teased by siblings and classmates.
  5. Teacher requested the mum to transfer him to special school for OKU students when he doesn't have any studying difficulties and physical disabilities because they find it hard to accommodate to his disease (which by the way is not hard at all).
  6. Dad is always scolding him since he can't accept the fact that he has disease A.
  7. Ended up in hospital because classmates pushed him into the drain which made him hurt his knees. No one helped him. He had to endured the pain and walked back home.
Child 2
  1. Suffering from Chronic Disease C.
  2. Classmates are always helping him. Even if he needs to urinate frequently, his friend will accompany him.
  3. Every one in school likes him.
  4. Siblings always accompany him to follow-up.
  5. Teachers are nice and patient with him.
  6. Dad cares about him.
  7. Ended up in hospital because he needs his medication.
2 different child, almost the same age, suffering from diseases that can't be cured, different settings, different life, different fate.

Sometimes kids say the darnest things which just make you laugh. But sometimes they can be brutally cruel like the 'friends' that child 1 has.

My heart goes for both of these kids for the diseases that they are suffering. In terms of life, I pity child 1. How I wish I can shake those so called 'normal' classmates so that they can be mature enough and STOP making fun of him. It's already a sad new that he has this disease and it's worst when he has to face all the name-calling and bullying at school everyday. These kids really need to know the consequences of their actions. Their 'innocent' act will just hurt the child physically and also mentally.

How to stop yourself from hurting people? Start placing yourself in one's shoe. If you don't like how people treat you in certain way, don't do it to others. Being young doesn't mean you are excused from hurting people 'unintentionally'. God has given us brain and its function is to help us think.

So think before you act.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Disturbed...

I have no idea what's going on lately.

My minds are all messed up.

I can't think properly.

Have been sleeping a lot.

I don't know why it's affecting me also.

For the past few days, I'd been letting go all my frustration on a pitiful plush toy which is something I'd never done before.

I have no idea what's wrong with me.

Perhaps I'm just a girl with bad personalities that no one like me and want to talk to me.

Mummy said: You're a girl, it's ok if you show a bit of weakness.

I replied: Don't want. I don't want to be seen as someone who is clingy and annoying.

I'm scared but what to do? All I know is to just put up a straight face and walk as if I'm not scared of anything.

Pretending that it doesn't bother me although it does.

Pretending that I'm not afraid although I can't stop thinking about the bad incidents.

Or perhaps I'm just too sensitive...