Race...

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Honestly, My mind is blank now. I have no idea what to do already. 

Is it a tradition? A tradition that whenever I'm at the last lap of a race, I'll accidentally trip and limp throughout the entire race? 

It's one thing to be happy running in the race. Running around, seeing different scenes, seeing different trees, seeing different flowers. I forget how tiring running can be, I forget that food is a treat, I forget that rest is a luxury. All I want to do is to run and see as many scenes as I want. 

Running with a limp is not easy. I am stuck with the broken leg and I have to bear with it. Sometimes even if I feel like chopping off the leg, I have to push aside the feelings and let the leg heals by itself. Even if it takes time, I still have to hang on. 

Perhaps it is my fault. When a leg which has been with you for a while helping you with all your daily livings decided to have nothing to do with you, you can't do anything except waiting for time to work its miracle. 

No matter what, I'll still keep on running at my own pace. That's the only thing which makes me happy and that's the only thing which I can hold on to. 

I hope I'll not fail myself when the final lap comes. 

Love...

Joined Diabetic Clinic today and met 2 sisters who were diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.

When dr told me that their mother had passed away because of complications of DM, my attention was immediately brought to the lady who accompanied the siblings. She is the aunt of these sisters. 

Apparently, the aunt quitted her job and took up the responsibilities of taking care this 2 sisters and another sister as well. During the whole consultation, we could see that she was genuinely concern about the sisters and she did not regret quitting her job. She did all she could for the sisters and all she wished for was for the sister to take control of their disease and lead a normal life.

My eyes welled up with tears immediately. When dr told the sisters to appreciate their aunt, my tears were almost at the edge of flowing down. 

Love, in a positive manner, can be powerful enough to move a heart. 

I salute you, aunt. 

Blessings :)

All of a sudden, everything rushed through my mind and I realise that I'd been blessed. Abundantly. 

Once upon a time, I was upset and comforted myself that I'm not good enough. Now, I realised that I'm not the only one who has problems. If things turned out the way that I wished it would, I am very sure that I'll not be able to tolerate and my heart will break into bigger pieces than the minor one I felt that day. 

Thank God for all the blessings :) Thank You :) When He closes a door, He'll open another door for you. I may not know the plan that You have installed for me, I'm not sure whether I had or would find the door, I'll work hard and make sure I'm not on the wrong direction. Thank God :)

PS: Different week, different rotation, different experiences, different surprises, different blessings. Thank God :) I'll try to hold on to this feeling :)

One-to-One

Had an one-to-one session with my mentor yesterday. One by one was called and lastly, I was alone in the corridor waiting anxiously for my turn. It was truly nerve-wrecking. The first one came out all smiling saying that dr was able to understand her. The 2nd one came out sighing. The 3rd one came out with a nervous smile as if he's guilty of something. And the last was me.

I have to say that it's been a pleasure. Although it only took 20 minutes, it was truly inspiring.

Dr: "It's unusual to get overexcited. Just go ahead. You're halfway there, Qing Yu."

But why do I feel like I'm still at the starting point even after being in Paeds for 1 month already?

Need to increase my knowledge and competency level.

Thanks a lot, Dr S (although I feel very much guilty after the session when I look back at myself...)

PS: I can sense further cracking. If it continues, then the things that I treasured will be lost.,,

Awesome Week :)

My week in Paeds A&E has ended. And I will definitely miss it.

How I wish time will pass even slower.

I guess I am really fortunate to have great Paeds, Primary Care and Emergency Medicine MO attached in Paeds A&E this week. And since I spend half of the time there alone, I can just walk around without making the staff nurses think that I'm an annoyance.

It has truly been an unforgettable week. And I'd never been happier than this.

Next stop, NICU with tiny little babies. Time to study on neonates.

Thanks thanks thanks :)

Just when I was coming out from the cubicle, preparing to wash my hand before examining a child, Dr F, with a serious face saw me and called me to the resuscitation room. A child with rapid breathing and grunting was brought in.

I saw them managing the patient and trying to stabilise the little boy. Dr K, the lecturer-in-charge allowed me to stay with the patient while the rest went to clerk other cases.

When it was time to transfer the patient to PICU, I asked Dr K's permission to follow the ambulance to PICU. She said:"If there's place in the ambulance, then only you can follow." Ok... So I was hoping and praying that there'll actually be an empty spot.

Then 2 ambulance staffs came and the nurse started to prepare the boy. I was counting in my mind, 1 driver, 1 staff, 1 nurse, the child's mother and Dr K. Oh no, I got no place to sit already :(

When I came out from resus room, Dr K pointed to the nurse next to her and said:"She said you helped her a lot so she asked me to let you go." Yeah :D So I managed to share a seat with the child's mother.

Thanks a lot Dr F for all the teaching and advices even though you're not a lecturer. Thanks for even trying to find us and bring us to resus room so that we do not miss an important case. Thanks to the strict-looking nurse who actually asked Dr K to allow me to follow.

Thanks thanks thanks :)

PS: Seeing the boy in that condition, I realised that 8 weeks may seem long but it's actually not sufficient enough to learn everything that I need to know about Paeds. I'm so reluctant to move on to Surgery. Sigh...

How not to mess with a child...

Long day yesterday. It's on-call day again.

While waiting for new admission, I went to clerk a patient who came in the middle of the night. Halfway through, the dr came in. It's the dreadful blood-taking session. I helped to handle the child (more like restraining the child). 

Unexpectedly, the child cried loud and non-stop. After that, I went back to clerk the mother while the child was lying on the bed angrily ignoring us. Then lunch was served with ice-cream. 

The mother gave the ice-cream to the child. The child screamed. 

I tried to ask the child to eat. He screamed. 

I moved to the opposite direction and the mother told the child that I left.

Immediately, he sat up, grabbed the ice-cream and ate hungrily. 

Moral of the story: Don't mess with a child even though he's only 3 years old.

Random...

Saw a child desaturated in front of my eyes and with all the doctors rushing to resuscitate her. I stood there praying for the little girl and I knew immediately that I'm still incapable of helping her. I need to be competent. God has given me a chance to be here and it's my responsibility to acquire the skills that I need in the future. I really have to push myself even harder than ever especially when it comes to these innocent children. 

At the same time, I witnessed another shouting episodes in the ward. The grandmother was determined to let her premature and low-birth-weight grandson discharged from the hospital. The paediatricians refused to do so as the child's birth weight had not achieved satisfactory level. And then there was the issue of the mother being so young (my age) and not married and had not even showed up to take care of the child. The grandmother was shouting throughout and after the social worker explained everything, she stormed out of the room and said at her daughter: "You breastfeed dia sampai dia pengsan lah." My heart almost shattered right there. The baby is out of the hospital and I can't bear to think of his fate. Sigh...

PS: A specialist son's was warded and was receiving blood transfusion and he complained of rashes and itchiness. At the same time, Dr S was in the ward for our teaching. The specialist asked for his help and Dr S went. The specialist told the son:" Son, don't be rude, remember this dr. He is a GREAT doctor." Immediately Dr S Said: "No no, I'm just a small doctor trying to help. That's all." It's truly inspiring to have such a brilliant doctor who stresses on humility to be my mentor :)

PS: I was rather upset yesterday as I accidentally did something terrible. Just when I was deep in regret, a friend saw me and offered me a chocolate randomly. It may just be a random act of yours but it means so much. Thanks a lot :)