Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Prayer...

'主啊
我不确定我所遭遇的苦难和病痛
会有怎么样的结果
也不知道是否一切都会如我所预期的
变得豁然开朗
甚至可能会面对更多的疑问
我甚至不知道我所期盼的医治会不会临到
但是主我感谢你因为您应许我
我的救赎主活着
末了比站立在地上
您必定为我预备了
全然超乎我想象的出路
主啊
让我奔向您这位救赎主
我终究必将得到医治.'

'Dear Lord,
I don't know whether whatever suffering and illness I'm facing now will have what sort of outcomes,
I also don't know whether everything will turn out to be as good as I'm expecting.
I might even face with many doubts.
I also don't know whether the treatment I'm longing for will come my way
but I thank You Lord for Your promise.
My savior lives on,
Even when everything is over,
You still stand firmly on the ground.
I'm sure You have prepared a path for me which will exceed all my expectations.
Dear Lord, 
Let me run towards You, my savior,
I know I'll be treated somehow.'

Heard this prayer. A huge comfort to my soul in times like this. I just need to stay strong, poise and optimist. I shall not lose faith. 

Thank You, Lord. 

Amen.  

Monday, April 23, 2012

Head-banging moments...

This is depressing...

When you're the only one who cares for some thing and the rest just look at it as a burden...

How hard can it be to just spare a moment and look at how it is supposed to be done and give me how it's supposed to be done?

If you're not sure or you don't know how, just ask, I don't mind telling you how to do it. 

Stop doing it just for the sake of doing it and let me clear up all the mess. It's killing me.

It's impossible for me to handle both at once and that's why I passed the responsibility to you. At the end, you blamed me for not telling you what to do. I trust your ability and let you make all the decisions, yet, at the end, all the responsibilities come back to me because you don't want to. 

Now, I need to juggle everything with my study and case summary as well and I'm at the verge of crumbling down. I just can't do it. I can't even have a breathing space. Everyone is happily going back to their books and everything and I'm still stuck with all the mess. 

It's even sad when some think that I want to take the credit all by myself and don't want to distribute the present. This is not MY project, I don't want to own everything. I don't want to take all the credit. It's a group work, everything is of group efforts. The hamper is just something extra and the group leader is planning for a gathering to distribute it. Besides, everyone gets the certificate even though not everyone is involved, so stop complaining. 

Yes, I volunteered for the responsibility but I need everyone to be responsible as well. I can't work with people who send me rubbish, I can't work with people whom I asked to do corrections and they ignore my message. How will you feel if you were in my shoes?

No one will know. Everyone is just selfish. Everyone only thinks about themselves and their study. Everyone is the same. 

I can only thank God for those who really came and gave me helping hands. Thanks to those who stayed up with me and finished off everything. Thanks to those who forced me to rest and took the remaining responsibilities. I'm really grateful as others who are in my shoes do not have those who are willing to help. 

I'm not directing this to anyone. I just need a space to vent on before I go crazy. 

Whatever is it, I'm not going to regret taking up this. I'd learned a lot from this and I'd learned a lot from my supervisor. Like Dr said, even if you have to do all this alone, take this as an ownership. You deserve it. I don't want to claim everything as my own. I'm just happy to be a part of the team and happy to have a chance to do this. 

I just hope my efforts are worthwhile. I'm really crossing my fingers on this. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Generation gap?

Scene 1
Me: I think this short/skirt is a bit too short. Very awkward... Regret buying this...
Mummy: It's not short at all. Looks ok.

Scene 2
Me wearing a cardigan on top of a spaghetti strap dress.
Mummy: Don't need to wear a cardigan lah. The dress looks good just by its own.

Scene 3
4/5 years ago:
Me: I want to stay forever alone.
Mummy: Ok, don't need to find a partner lah. Waste time only. What if you end up with a not-good one? Ruin your life only.
Now:
Me: I want to stay forever alone.
Mummy: Are you serious? You still haven't changed your mind?
Mummy: Your cousin (18 y/o) has a boyfriend. When are you going to get one?
Mummy: Anyone going after you? Why no? They are scared of you, is it?
Mummy: blah blah blah...

HELP!!! I thought mummy should be the conservative one, not the other way round. And I thought no one will ever bug me on the boy-girl-relationship issue...

Generation gap? Haha :S

Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars-Safe & Sound