Sunday, February 23, 2014

Dear Memories...

I still remember the day when you talked to me. You, being one of THE guy, THE one that everyone knows, THE one that everyone wants to make friend. I'd heard of you, of course, I'd seen you before but I'd never talked to you. Not that I was one of those girls who look at you from far, I was just being me, burying my head into books, hanging on to the few close friends who truly understand me, never thought of venturing out or being in some 'popular' cliche. 

Then the day came. I was standing at the farthest corner after completing my role, lost in my own thoughts, thinking of all the vivid dreams I had, putting all the pieces together, plotting my own stories. I blended into the background and no one realised I was there. Then you came and said "Hi, am I interrupting anything?". 

I still remember your smiley face, the warmth in your voice and the sincerity. You were the first to call me by my name even though no one did because my name was so difficult to pronounce. You listened to what I had to say and you gave an interested look. Even when there were others around, you still gave me all your attention. 

We started becoming friends. You seemed happy to see me or bumped into me. When I was not around, you noticed my absence. When charming, popular girls were around, your attention never swayed. You were genuinely interested in my thoughts. All of a sudden, I felt that I mattered, somehow. 

I was not sure whether I was smitten. I knew that I wanted to see you. Every time you came around, I smiled. I was young and naive then. I looked up to you. I felt that I had someone who cared. I started thinking of you as a brotherly figure, although my friends told me it was more than that. I was not sure, neither am I now. 

Everything was short-lived though. We parted ways few months later. I wanted to keep in touch but you seemed to have so many people around you. You were so close with everyone, I was not sure whether I should go on dropping messages or saying hi. I did not want to initiate anything as I was afraid that I would become a nuisance to you and you never did so I left it just there with the memories kept in the bottom of my heart. 

I'd come to realise that you were just being you, the friendly one, the caring one, the funny one. You had treated me like how you would treat everyone else and there's nothing special about it. I was the one who had never received such attention and I somehow got carried away with my own longing thoughts. 

I am not hurt though and there are no regrets. Your friendship was one of the best I had and I thank you for that. I might be someone you had met once upon a time and it might be just that. I don't expect anything more than that. It might be a short one but thank you for making me feel special. Thank you for giving me a hand. Thank you for making me feel I am not just another wallpaper. I think you still remember me but I doubt I'm in that "important people" list. 

If I ever see you again, I know you'll give me a warmth smile again and say "hey, long time no see." Until then, thanks for the friendship we once had.

All the best and God bless. And congrats for achieving your dream. 

Don't know why, the first time I heard the melody, you came into my mind after many many many years...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi bookworm, i was looking at stock market stuff, then click click click click somehow ended up here. cool blog.

says u a student in your profile. u seem pretty mature for a student. read a couple of your post and i have to say, u have a articulate manner of expressing your thoughts.

glad u can see the positive side of 'bad' things as life can be tough sometimes. And i too felt at one point, that writing is easier than talking but over the years have consciously tried to overcome my own internal pre-set limitations. now, i love talking but some people find me too direct/abusive cause i like debates/why-what-how kind of questions plus i lack tack & get excited easily. So, now my game plan is i try to soften my tone, focus etc etc haha

i like solitude at times, but try not to keep too much to yourself, bookworm, you got a good spirit about you. you an introvert, i see.... have the read the book Quiet by susan cain
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2310503/The-big-noise-quiet-revolution-introversion-Susan-Cain.html

keep the spirit up,cheers!





Anonymous said...

also this.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/books/review/susan-cains-quiet-argues-for-the-power-of-introverts.html?pagewanted=all

ccdev

Little Fish :) said...

Hey :) Thanks for the good recommended read. I can truly understand the author, somehow. My line of study requires a lot of interaction with others and lots of presentations and I'd been trying hard to improve over these years. I'm better than before but I'm still far from my target. Still working hard. Thanks for the sharing and encouragement :) And thanks for the compliment. My writing is not something that great, it's just that sometimes words are flowing in my brain that I have to write it all down to prevent overflowing. Haha...
All the best to you too :) Thanks!