Pictures :)

"A picture is worth a thousand words." That was what Prof. Goh told us last week when he brought us to see the doctors performing endoscopy and colonoscopy. It's great to have him as our professor for medicine round :) And I really agree with him when he said that our aim in medical school is not just to pass our exam, it's about learning as much as we can to be a good doctor and make our parents proud of us. I may not be the smartest one and I admit that though I may had read the pages 3 or 4 times, I still find it hard to remember every single thing. But I still want to try my best. All I want to be is a good doctor and even if it means no holiday, no rest and no leisure, I still want to go for it. I'm really thankful to God that I have the chance to be in the seat where tons of students fought for and still fight for every year :) Just pray that I'll have the strength and the wisdom to go through the remaining 4 years in medical school :)

Picture time!!!

The bear that I got :)


The lovely card :) Really miss playing the piano...


The warm wishes :)

The little present that the 'us' in cg gave me :)

Something special from my 'twin' :)

Another trip to the bookshop!!! This time I only got 5 books. Must save money :P

One of Baby Blues comic and a snowman book mark that I got for Michelle for her Christmas gift :)

2 candy each for Michelle's sister, Catherine and Melissa :)

The lovely book thong that I got after renewing my membership card. Can't believe I'd been buying books from Bookxcess for 3 years. And I'll still continue to go there to get all my books :D

Since tomorrow is a holiday, I'm going to spend the whole night reading :) Once lectures start to get busy, I'll definitely miss this time when I can lay back and enjoy my novel. Well, it's one sacrifice that I'm willing to make :)

First post of a 20-year-old :)

Well, finally, I'm 20. All these while, I'd been telling people that I'm 19 and now that 2nd December had passed, I guess I have to admit that I'm 20.

All these years, my birthdays were always during the school holiday and I only celebrated with my family. This year, it's really my first time having friends secretly planning my birthday and throwing me a surprise and having people besides my family singing birthday song to me. It may not be extravaganza but I'm really thankful and touched.

Thanks for the lovely meal at Pasta Zanmai. Though at the end, I had to force myself to swallow down the plate of pasta, it was undeniably a nice meal :)

Thanks for the walk and all the photos we took around Mid Valley with the warm and adorable Christmas decorations. Though I was tired and couldn't stop yawning, it was nice to have you girls around :)

Thanks for the birthday songs and the surprise at 12.00 am. Though the smell of whipping cream haunted me for a day, it was touching to know that you girls remembered my birthday and took the trouble to celebrate with me :)

Thanks for the adorable bow-tie bear and the card by Han Jun, Chu Yee, Cheng Nee, Aileen, Winnie and Choon Fong. Though it was not easy to buy a bear and hide it in the bag while walking around Mid Valley with me, it was my first time receiving a bear and I can't seem to take my eyes off it :)

Thanks for the birthday songs during lecture. Though it was a little bit awkward with people looking at me and singing to me, it truly made my day :)

Thanks for the birthday song and the birthday present from the 'us' of the cg group. Though I don't know who exactly are the 'us', it's really a blessing to know you guys and I pray that we'll all grow stronger in God :)

Thanks for the lovely dinner by my parents who came all the way here just to celebrate my birthday. Though there wasn't any cake like previous years, the meal was nice and warm and I'm really thankful to have a family like this :)

Thanks for all the wishes via sms, facebook and face-to-face. Though I had to reply 100 ++ wishes on facebook, I was smiling while doing so :)

Thankfully, the final is over. It was really my first time spending my study week at home, skipping the ward round during the study week (and I still feel guilty) and crying a lot (without my parents presence, of course). Result is coming out soon and the thought of it is sufficient to make me go nuts. I wished I'd done better but I know I cannot turn back the clock so I'd been pushing it to the back of my mind. Just pray that everything will turn out to be alright. No matter what happen, I will continue to praise Your name, dear Lord :)

At the bright side, I finally have some time to indulge myself in novel-reading. I told myself I'll stop after the 3rd one. Then I continued to the 4th one and told myself the same thing. And now, I'm reading the 5th one. Sigh... Can't believe that what was a pleasure to me has become a guilty pleasure ever since I became a medical student. But it's nice to escape to another world when I feel bored and lazy. The past weekend had been boring. The floor was almost empty. Most of the girls went back, 2 girls went dating and roomie had a family problem which forced her to pack her bag and left on Friday (I'm sorry to hear the news, roomie).

I guess I better stop before this gets any longer and mundane. Was planning to upload some photos but something went wrong with the memory card. Hmmm... Will post the photos once I figure out what went wrong with the memory card (though I doubt I will ever understand all those technical items).

Toodles :)

ABC About Me :)

Since I was tagged by Nana and I got nothing to do besides finishing my novels, here I am answering another sets of questions.

A-Available: Haha... What a question. Everybody knows that I'm single.
B-Birthday: 2nd December every year. And I finally have to admit that I'm a 20-year-old :(
C-Crushing on: Haha... Another funny question. No one.
D-Drink you last had: Ice blended fruit juice (Don't remember the exact name). Yummy :D
E-Easiest person to talk to: Someone who can prompt me to talk more and makes me smile and laugh :)
F-Favourite song at the moment: Hmmm... Can't really pin-point one... Terrified-Katherine McPhee
H-Hometown: Tampin, Negeri Sembilan :)
I-In love with: My family and the wonderful God :)
J-Juggle: Between studying and all the upcoming projects :( Really praying for all the strength, Lord :)
K-Killed someone: Haha... No strength to do so.
L-Longest car ride: The journey from Kajang to Kelantan.
M-Milkshake flavour: Hmmm... Fruits or chocolate :)
N-Number of sibling: 1 little sister.
O-One wish: To be closer to God :)
P-Person you called last: My buddy.
R-Reason to smile: To know that God and my family are always with me :)
S-Song you last heard: Hmmm... Can't really recall...
T-Time you woke up: 6.45 am.
U-Utensils used to eat noodles: Chopsticks and spoon.
V-Vegetable: Love them especially the leafy kangkung (I think it's kangkung...)
W-Worst habit: Torturing my fingers until they start to bleed whenever I'm too tired. (Am trying my best to stop it.)
X-X-rays you had recently: The one for uni registration.
Y-Yoyos are: Impossible to play it correctly.
Z-Zodiac sign: Sagittarius :)

Random Questions about you:
Your favourite number/s: Ermmm... 2, perhaps?
What colour do you wear most: Black and white.
Most favourite colour: Hmmm... Sky blue.
What are you listening to: The sound of me typing the keyboards....
Are you happy with your life right now? Am quite contented with what I have now :)
What is your favourite class in school: Add Maths with Mr. Gan :)
Who is/are your best friend/s: They know who they are :)
Are you outgoing: Depends on the person.
Favourite pair of shoes: Nice yet simple pairs of flat :)
Can you dance: I need practices but I do enjoy it :)
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: Huh???
Can you whistle: Nope.
Cross your eyes: Nope.
Walk with your toes curled: Nope.

Do you believe in:
Life in other planets: Nope.
Miracles: Yup :)
Magic: The magical things that can happen in life :)
Love at first sight: With cute doggy :D
Santa: Never believed in one.
Do you know how to swim: Nope.
Do you like roller coaster: The thought of it can makes me go tachycardia already...
Do you think you can handle the stuff they eat on reality show: Ewww...
Have you ever been on a plane: The fake one in Petrol Sains, KLCC.
Have you ever asked someone out: Friends for shopping trip :)
Have you ever been to the ocean: Nope.
Have you ever painted your nails: Nope.

The What's:
What is the temperature outside: The usual one in Malaysia;
What radio station do you listen to: Mix, Hitz, My, Fly, One, Lite.
What was the last restaurant you ate at: T-bowl in Sunway Pyramid.
What was the last thing you bought: A cardigan, finally :)
What was the last thing on tv you watched: Some movie on Hallmark Channel.

The Who's:
Who was the last person you IM'd: Saren.
Who was the last person you took a picture of: Chu Yee and Han Jun.
Who was the last person you said I love you too: God :)

Crying Section:
Ever really cried your heart out: Definitely.
Ever cried yourself to sleep: Definitely.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder: No.
Do you cry when you get an injury: Depends.

Happy section:
Are you a happy person: Trying to maintain a cheerful self :)

Look at me:
What is your current hair colour: Black.

Currently wearing:
What shirt are you wearing: White t-shirt with 3 giraffes.
Pants: Black shorts.
Shoes: None.
Necklace: None.

In a boy/girl:
Favourite eye colour: Blue but impossible.
Short or long hair: Short.
Height: MUST be taller than me.

Have you ever:
Been to jail: Definitely no.
Mooned someone: Huh???
Thought about suicide: A very very very long time ago.
Laughed so hard you cried: Yup.
Cried in school: I was the famous 'crying baby' way back in school.
Thrown up in a store: No.
Wanted to be a model: The minimum height and weight requirements are just impossible.
Seen a dead body: Yes.
Been on drugs: Never.
Gone skinny dipping: I'm still sane.

This or that:
Pepsi or cola: Neither.
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendy.
Single or group dates: Single.
Chocolate or vanilla: Simple. Chocolate :)
Strawberry or blueberries: Strawberries.
Meat or veggies: Both.
TV or movie: Both.
Guitar or drums: Guitar.
Adidas or Nike: Hmmm...

Books!!!

I can't help but to post this. Hehe :P


I heart bookxcess for all the great books :)

It has been a long long long time since I last took photos of the bulk of books I bought (normally from bookxcess). But thanks to Shelfari, I am able to keep track of the books in my mini-library :)

So starting from now on, I'll remember to take photos. And it just makes me happy to see the books :) I'm such a great bookworm :D

One thing about being a medical student. I need to munch and digest all the pathology, parasitology, medical microbiology and pharmacology notes and books until I got no time to read :(

So many books, so little time to read :(

Mood Score :)

It's hard to pin point a value for I myself also don't know what's the score.

Now, there're waves of calmness in me. Looking back at the previous posts, I realised I was really troubled by the events happening.

For the past few days, the words of God had been really helpful to me. People asked me to just cry and let everything out but I managed to find all the excuses of not to do so. Too busy, must concentrate, must study, need more rest, don't want to wake up with panda bengkak eyes...

Now I found the most perfect way to feel happy. Just pray and put all my troubles away. It's great to know that He is always there for me, sharing my burden and take away my fear and sadness.

Thanks for listening to my prayers and thank You for always watching me. Though I am not worthy of it but thank You for your love. There's nothing greater that Your love :)

Mood score - Because of You, from low to high :)

Wall...

Attended a fantastic meeting today and it'd kept me thinking until now. Some of the things that the speaker said were like arrows directly pointing towards me and I could actually relate to so many emotions that I have had for all these while.

I guess I'm finally admitting that even after more than a year, there's still a rather thick wall surrounding me. I still haven't really felt like I'm a part of them and I still unconsciously distancing myself from them while wondering what's wrong with me.



It's just sad to see the wall around me even after a year has passed. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough ever since I'd been disappointed by people. I'd learned how to be invisible even if I'm surrounded by lots of people including those whom I'd acquainted with. But I still have a constant fear that people will just take my quietness as a part of me and leave me by myself.



After more than a year, maybe they have accepted the fact that I'm a quiet and passive one. The wall has grown thicker since then. Sometimes when I thought that there's a chance to break it, silence continued and the wall remained till today.



I want to see the wall disappear. I don't want to run away anymore just so that I won't feel left out. It's harder when every time I try to speak, all the sentences seem to disappear into thin air without leaving a single mark at all. I no longer know how to join in a group conversation anymore when all of the sentences will drown in the crowd and no one seems to hear a single thing. I'm at loss of what to do and the only way that I can think of is prayers.



Really pray that one day, the wall will collapse and for once, I can try to be myself.

Thanks for your love, dear God :)

p.s. This is really stupid but I really hope that Tuesday will not come at all :(

Dandelion :)

For a while, I've been lightly holding a dandelion on my hand. Always holding but hiding it. Always holding but denying it. Always holding but ignoring it.

People say: take a dandelion, make a wish, blow it, and your wish will come true.

I do hope that there'll be a day when I can finally blow the dandelion and seeing the wish coming true. But it's very obvious that it is impossible. I'd tried telling myself that there's still some hope but now I realise I'm only lying to myself. It's so obvious but I turned a blind eye.

Now, I don't want to continue to be a foolish girl. I'm finally opening my eyes and admitting that those images are real. I'm no longer pushing all those truths to the back of my head and ignoring them.

I'm putting down the dandelion. And I won't turn back even if I'm tempted to do so. It may hurt a little but I believe time will wash away everything.

I'll get through this with a smile. I believe I can :)