Passion...

Last Thursday, there was a motivation talk. As a goody good girl (sigh...) who never fails to attend every single class, I dragged myself to the talk. And guess what, I'm rather glad that I did so.

The talk was amazing. Instead of lengthy speech of how you should this or that or this or that, videos were shown and they were amazing especially the one on Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy. We saw how the children were so determined to get into the academy. We saw how they said 'I CAN get in!' instead of 'I MAY get in.' We saw how they struggled at a young age and yet their love towards education never died off. Just a look in their eyes and one could see a big flame of passion burning in them. Nothing could stop them and nothing could put off the flame in them.

To think of myself, the flame is still burning in me but the lazy bugs are surrounding it and sadly to say, I succumb to them too much. I love what I'm doing now, I love being a medical student, I love studying medicine. It's been everything that I wish for and now that I got it, I start to slack a bit. Guilt is haunting me everyday especially after result is out. I'm starting to not believe in myself especially knowing that I'm surrounded by a lot of people who are way smarter than me. The confidence in exam that I used to have is gone. The confidence in study that I used to have is also gone. I feel insecure day by day and I'm terrified of the thought of failing my exam. I'm starting to blame dancing for everything though knowing that it's not that. It's just ME.

Now, no more lazy bugs. I want that passion and I know I have it in me. I want to try my very best and be the hardworking girl that I used to be. I want to gain back my confidence. I want to pass my exam. Most of all, I want to graduate with a MBBS degree and embark on a lifelong journey dealing with people. I don't know what to expect but I know He'll be there to watch over me and guide me. Thank You Lord for everything :)