Gahhh... PPD is killing me. My brain's memory is diminishing and yet there are so much more to telan :( I'd rather study all the systems and pathophysiology, more fun :)
So, that's it, 2011 waved goodbye to us and 2012 waved hello to us.
I'd been trying to think back of this past one year.
Thinking...
...
...
...
...
Yes, it's all blank.
One significant thing though. I'd passed my 2nd year and entered clinical year.
So far, it's been nice. I really enjoy going to ward and talking to patients especially the innocent kids :) Study wise, depressing. Time seems to be running out and there just seems to be no time to study AT ALL. Sigh... Online too much already, must control.
Broke down few weeks back. It was night time, SPM exam was around the corner, was pissed off by someone who let me carried all the responsibilities, printer didn't want to cooperate with me, busy editing the report and presentation slides which were not complete... I was alone in the room and all of the sudden, all the tears just broke loose. That was really the first time I broke down in a while. I felt lost and stupid at that time. I don't know whether I'm fit to be a doctor or not. People think that I'm like a superwoman but I'm not one at all. Study a bit a bit only and I'd been feeling very very tired recently. It's really affecting me and I'm actually very worried.
Sigh... Complaining doesn't make any difference. I just hope that I can have the strength to go through all these...
So, I guess there are just few things that I need to remind myself in this coming new year:
1. Stop criticizing people. You're not that good either. (Sorry to those that I'd complained about. Sometimes, I just don't think before I speak some words when I'm too frustrated.)
2. Be more hardworking. STOP sleeping!!!
3. Read the bible more. Pray more. There's no one like Him :)
4. Be grateful. Don't take things for granted.
5. Be more cheerful and responsive. You're not a block of wood.
6. Have faith and courage. He has His plan for me and I just need to be brave enough to follow.
One more thing though. During my birthday, my mom made a wish for me: Find a gentleman.
Funny how that comes from my mum - The one who'd been telling me that it's hard to find a nice guy so might as well not marry.
Seriously, I have no faith at all in this love thingy. Seeing married couples who are cold towards each other after many years of marriage just make my heart cold. I know there are some who make it work even after many years. Those are lucky people and luck has never always been by my side. I'm now single and I'm contended. No strings attached, no arguments and teary night and don't need to put my entire happiness at stake. If it doesn't work out, it's just too painful.
Well, I'm still young, never been in love before so I'm really not the right person to make all these statements. But I'm not that foolish girl who will allow myself to fall head to heels in love and end up in a cold relationship after years. No. It's sad to watch people like that and I certainly don't want to be a part of this. No way.
Oh well, I must stop thinking too much already. Happy new year, my faithful readers :)
好好听哦 :) 不管是曲或词，都很特别，很美，很悲。好喜欢 :)
原版在这。
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